Becky's Graduation

Sat. morning was Becky's graduation from Rogers State University. Though a little late, Aunt Susan was able to save us some seats. After, we went to her house for food and playing in the backyard, which is perfect for kids. They had a blast running around, playing tag, pretending to be wolves (D Shea), and other games.

 

Frontier City

Back in May, my cousin graduated from college, so last minute I decided to go out for the ceremony, and to take both girls, mostly to see their cousins but also to relieve Bobbins. We got in late Thurs. night and woke up at the crack of dawn Fri. to accompany my cousin's school's field trip to Frontier City in OKC. Poor MM had stomach trouble, so we had to make a couple emergency stops on the way, but we caught up to the bus (hilariously piloted by my cousin) at the McD's on I-40 on the halfway point.

Frontier City was a lot of fun. The only hitch was lunchtime, which included a long line and way more food than was needed (a lot wasted). JoJo had fun on her first roller coaster, and MM went on a good one with me. With the early start, it was a long day, but a ton of fun.

 

 
 Even though the boys weren't with us, I bought them toy guns.

Sat. Morning

The girls are pretty good about getting themselves up, and now they've taken to getting their brothers going. Of course, it helps when Bobbins puts a show on for them.

Jack and Aunt Gin

Bobbins' great Aunt Gin also recently passed away. Rest in Peace.










This was from a photo of her birthday dinner in 2014.

Some Other Shots of Jack

Some of my other favorite pictures of Jack, in random order, and none photo-shopped.

 

 

 

To Jack

I'll never forget going to meet Jack for the first time. He was in Oklahoma then, west of OKC, about a two hour drive from my family in Claremore. My grandmother was still living, and we borrowed her car to make the drive. It was October and cold. The car wasn't being used and the windshield wipers weren't good. We made it despite some ice.

I was nervous going in. This was Bobbins' oldest brother and second only to her dad in terms of respect and importance. We had a real nice visit. We stayed a couple hours and talked about a wide variety of things. Even though he was in prison, Jack was still integral to the family, thanks to the constant visits and letters from Mr. M and Bobbins. I think I passed the "test." (Bobbins also passed the "test" with my relatives in OK.) We got engaged later that month.

As a result of an escape, Arizona started bringing back all its prisoners outside of the state in private facilities. Jack ended up in Yuma. Bobbins and Mr. M visited him frequently. We had a few fun visits/day trips as a family. It was always a treat for Jack to get items out of the vending machine. One time he came into the visiting room from the softball field, fairly sweaty. He was growing out his hair and looked like Antonio Banderas, much to his father's chagrin.

We sent him postcards from our trips. We had a good laugh sending him one from the Yuma Territorial Prison, a state historic park we stopped at one day on the way to San Diego (it's really neat if you get a chance - best in winter). Jack did a variety of things in prison. For a while he was making rugs, which he sent to each one of us. Bobbins used ours for a while but honestly, it wasn't to her taste. I think it got saved and ended up at Jack's house for a while. He had a guy make a really cool mock-up of the cabin, out of straws. We still have a "model" ship in a plastic water bottle that another guy made, on a stand of popsicle sticks.

I wasn't sure what it was going to be like when Jack got out. We had a family meeting at our house with Mr. and Mrs. M and Paul. For some reason Paul was all worked up about Jack being out. I remember thinking Jack would be the same person, for the most part, he was when he went in. It was a big adjustment for him. He stayed out at the Compound. He sold the old blue VW Beetle he had in 2002. He relished taking care of Mr. M's horse.

Jack went on a long run with me one Saturday, back when I could still run on Sat. mornings. I used to go up to Indian School to the canal and run all the way to I-17 and back. Jack stuck right with me the whole time. We talked about how he survived prison, memories from his childhood, how it was being married to his sister, what he planned to do while out. It was a deep, brotherly conversation. In typical Jack fashion, he ran the last 1/4 mile at full speed, to finish strong, way ahead of me. He liked the natural high of finishing a workout hard, better than any unnatural high.

He jumped right into working with family friend Justin. Jack was one of the hardest workers I've ever known. Paul has a great photo of Jack at the top of a 60' extension ladder trimming a palm tree. Jack could do anything. It wasn't a slogan for him. He had no fear.

Jack integrated right back into things. He came to the STA fall carnival with us, in his trademark long-sleeve white shirt with red roses and baseball cap. He started dating a girl. He got welfare, as a recently released prisoner, about half of which he spent on food for family events. We used to joke him about his Obama money. We were glad to be spending our own tax money on useful things.

In spring 2014, Jack joined our softball team. He was by far our best player, of course. He played shortstop. As the pitcher, I loved having him right behind me. In one of his first games, he blasted three home runs - a home run every time he was at bat. It was amazing and cool and funny. The season we won the championship, we had a party to celebrate. Jack and I had a nice dinner at Potbelly in Tempe before heading over. We were the old guys on a team of 20 somethings. It was a ton of fun.



That summer Bobbins and the kids went out to OK a week ahead of me. Jack was dying to hang out: let's go golfing, mountain bike riding, hiking, anything. We ended up playing the Encanto short nine one day after work. I had a little leg up in golf, although Jack wasn't far behind. We had fun walking the course, all to ourselves. It was always fun hanging out with Jack. He made you a better person and always lifted you up. The last two years he played in the girls' school fundraiser golf tournament. I'm going to really miss him every subsequent year.

One of the best hiking trips I've ever had was with Jack and Kevin. The three of us grabbed some water and sleeping bags and headed out to the Superstition Wilderness. Our plan was to climb Weaver's Needle, but we didn't have any rope or climbing gear. Jack and Kevin still almost made it to the top anyway. My fear of heights kept me lower. After convincing Kevin to hike to a more suitable camping site, Jack and I started to gather wood for a fire. Of course he grabbed this giant log, what seemed like a Sequoia trunk, and lugged it over. I was appreciative later because my sleeping bag was too thin and I couldn't sleep, staying warm by the fire fueled by that gigantic log.

We have an annual family camping trip with the Schaefers, and Jack joined us in 2014 and 2015. He brought his girlfriend in 2014 and slept in the same tent as her even though we asked him not to. Last year he brought Sophie and spent extra time playing soccer with Jonah. I heard him tell it about half a dozen times, but he loved a camping trip he had with the Coovers to Knoll (sp.?) Lake, where they had to build a shelter to protect from a freak snowstorm. I think he had some fun camping with us and the 42 kids. It will be tough to do our trip this year without him.

Jack did three runs with us. The Nun Run twice and Maggie's Run once. The first, in March 2014, he showed up in pajama pants. He didn't have any running pants and was self-conscious about his legs. It was hilarious seeing him run in those things without a shirt on. The second Nun Run he got a medal for fastest time in our age group. I almost beat him in the Maggie's Run. I caught him in the last mile and sped ahead with a half mile to go. I thought: "I'm going to beat him. I can't believe it." He caught me with a hundred yards to go and I didn't stand a chance.

Even though he was gone for a long time, we were really glad to see him off on his trip to Colombia. We busted him for paying tons of money to take Sophie, but dutifully helped him out when he sent her home after only a week. He bought a truck there and drove around before settling down with a host family and teaching English. He had some great experiences that he missed out on in his 20s.


Jack had a hard life. He bore the brunt for his four siblings of a difficult childhood. Then he was wrongly sentenced for double the time for stabbing a dude in what was self-defense in a bar/street fight. The last year he was really struggling with things and hurting. We didn't see him as much. I didn't get to grill jalapeno cowboy burgers for him on Sunday nights.

The two qualities I most admired in Jack were his will and service to others. As I said, Jack could do anything. He had an incredible will. He could get anything done, no matter what, even if he didn't know how (like hanging cabinets in our laundry room, or fixing my electric shaver). I hope to instill such a will in my own boys.

Jack always put others first. He would drop whatever he was doing to help you out. Helping others was his default. I tried to think of times when I had helped him. I could think of only two, and one was so inconsequential, I already forgot it. The other was putting on the tar roof of his patio covering at Cheery Lynn. It was January (blessedly cold), right after we had moved. We had a nice time working together and talking. I probably put down too many nails and our rolled roofing wasn't perfectly straight, but we got it up. At any rate, Jack probably helped us ten times over, and he loved it. I want to emulate that, to be like Jack in helping others.

There's a lot more I could write about: Palm Springs last year, JoJo's leg getting burned on his motorcycle, playing ping pong (yes he beat me), how he was a great godfather to Owen, how he was the best pool guy you could ever have (in fact, almost every single Aqua True customer wrote that to Bobbins after hearing of his passing), how two of my friends met him only once, for a few hours, and were deeply saddened to hear he had died.

Like I said, I wasn't sure how things would be when Jack got out in August 2013. We only had a short few years, but I can say with total gratitude, he was one of my best friends. I love you Jack.

We Love You Jack

Bobbins' brother Jack was in a terrible motorcycle accident last week on I-10. Unfortunately, he wasn't wearing his helmet. He's currently heavily sedated and in a coma in the ICU. He has severe brain shearing, and there is very little chance of brain recovery. For what happened, his body is actually in good shape. But it looks like he's never coming back.



This is a nice picture of him doing what he was great at, pools, with his beloved dog Sophie.