Un-church

Recently came across this funny lexicon by the Catholic writer Carl Olson for understanding the popularity of the "un-church," the spiritual not religious, contemporary not traditional, worship place.

"A sign from God" I have a good feeling about this un-church. Plus, the refreshments after the worship service were tasty.

"Anointing" I cried during the worship service for no reason.

"Communion" Crackers or pizza. Add soda or juice. Read John 6:63. Celebrate at the end of the service, taking no more than seven minutes.

"Contemporary" Lots of lights, loud music, t-shirts, and a sixteen-year-old pastor

"Dynamic" Killer bass and guitar riffs during the "Mosh With the Messiah!" worship service.

"Freedom" The pastor doesn't wear a tie, and he doesn't use notes or a pulpit when he shares the special word that God has laid on his heart.

"Authentic" I don't feel compelled to wear nice clothes.

"God told me…" I'm more spiritual than you.

"No structure" Nobody appears to be in charge or know what's going on. Ain't that great!?

"Non-conventional" My parents don't attend with me. Ain't that even greater?

"Non-denominational" My un-church was established three years ago. We're just like the first Christians.


"Minister" (n.) The sixteen-year-old up front.

"minister" (v.) I talk one-on-one about myself, my feelings, my needs, etc.

"Personal lord and savior" You know, Jesus. Sheez, are you Catholic?

"Religion" The evil attempt of man to reach God. Invented by the Vatican in 325 A.D.

"Spiritual" Good. I'm very spiritual, by the way.

"Testimony" I talk in front of the entire group about myself, my feelings, my needs, etc.

"Theology" Boring. Invented by sadistic monks during the Dark Ages, which was a long time ago, even before MTV.

"Tradition" Very, very bad. Invented by a Pope in 666 A.D.

"Word of God" The Bible. I read it and the Left Behind books every day.

"Worship" Jesus meets rock n' roll.